[Vagina]

Here’s li’l me performing “Because He Liked To Look At It” as part of The Vagina Monologues in ’08 at the Directors Guild of America. Please “like” and subscribe for more of my youtube vids!

Hi guys! Here’s a flashback vid in celebration of the recently passed International Women’s Day. Hopefully, these candid conversation about gender and sex will educate the likes of Poland, Egypt, Muslim countries and the Vatican who are in talks with the UN, using “religion, custom and tradition” as a defense to leave women unprotected against violence. (Talk about an unholy alliance! The Vatican is in cahoots with the Muslim Brotherhood – let’s take that in for a second.) Think their reasoning is a load of bull? Support TVM playwright Eve Ensler’s charity V-Day, which educates, raises funds and helps women in the global movement for peace.

Wow! Those are a lot of white heads!

Here is a verbatim news telecast from 1989, when over 1.2 million people had died worldwide from AIDS: “AIDS is now the leading cause of death for men under forty in New York and a half dozen other cities. Surpassing homicide and all other diseases. Yet, Roman Catholic Bishops are meeting this week, to publicly oppose the use of condoms as morally unacceptable. This puts them in direct opposition to U.S. public health policy.”

As New York City’s Archbishop John Cardinal O’Connor put it, “The use of prophylactic is immoral in a pluralistic society or any other society.”

In a time when AIDS patients who died in hospitals were placed in black trash bags by hospital staff, and ACT-UP had to fight the FDA tooth and nail for anti-viral drugs, the Catholic Church was busy telling homosexuals and others affected by AIDS to shut up, that they are sinners and to repent. They still insist on hiding their heads in the sand, denying their followers and citizens true public health information, preferring instead to instruct the sheep of the world not to protect themselves against the deadly transmission of HIV and other STDs.

In more positive news~ a new girlfriend of mine in Nor Cal is a progressive Episcopilian priest, and was just offered a killer job that pays well, where she’ll be part of a family of believers that understands and embraces all kinds of diversity. This is perfect timing, as her father is suffering from cancer and she’s taken on the responsibility of caring for him. Please pray for her dad, and celebrate Her today as she leads with light and truth.

Wanna be proud of a group of committed citizens that doesn’t hide inside the Vatican or tax-free institutions? That doesn’t separate men and women, straight and gay, healthy and sick? ACT-UP – New York City’s self-assembled warriors for PWAs (People With AIDS) has spent three decades changing the face of the disease and finding hope where there was none. Because of their humbling and life-altering efforts, AIDS is now considered a disease, instead of a death sentence. And, with new discoveries being made everyday, the cure for HIV/AIDS may come in our lifetime!

Let’s take nothing for granted! Watch the trailer for Academy Award nominated “How To Survive A Plague” below and find out how hard patients fought for trials, experiments and funding. Wanna do something? Donate to AIDS Alliance.org today.

[How To Survive A Plague]

As promised, I will do drive-by-newsings from time to time to let y’all in on what I’m reading, and what’s happening in this fine world we share!

If Zac Efron Does It?

Here’s the scoop:

Lisa Ling gets kinky on her new show on the Oprah Winfrey Network, exploring BDSM’s underworld.

Taylor Swift holds boys accountable for their dating trespasses and Michael J. Fox doesn’t like it.

Leann Rimes yet again discusses her marriage to Eddie Cibrian, their cheating scandal – this time referencing suicide, how pathetic she was, and how her “body wouldn’t let her stop.”

(1) I wonder if public opinion would change if Cibrian appeared alone or alongside her on one of these shows? 2) How much would the public love her more if she had denied his advances or taken the high road and exited the affair even with a broken marriage – her own – ending in divorce?)

Animal rights activist and phenomenal painter Gretchen Ryan appeared on the Ricki Lake show to offer a very public apology to the driver of a Jeep who, years ago, tragically drove off a cliff leaving her paralyzed. She also stars in a viral video called “My Story” directed by Ari Solomon.

A Swedish Toys “R” Us catalog erases gender imbalance in toys. Now girls can shoot plastic Uzi’s too!

Speaking of plastic, here’s more on the photo Zac Efron doesn’t want you to see involving a dildo or five.

In what might be the most awesome stunt ever, two Dutch TV hosts, Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno undergo simulated labor contractions (sans delivery). If only they had to pass a baby the size of a watermelon out a tiny hole…

(For reals, I do wonder if empathy is the missing link in unity between women and men. Fathers have told me that only after they experienced the magic and mystery of their gf’s or wive’s becoming goddess mothers did their opinion of women become fully realized. It reminds me of the episode of The Tudors when King Henry VIII had zero part in the delivery of Anne Boleyn‘s baby, except to check if it was a boy. The polar opposite of what prompted Flea to name Red Hot Chili Pepper’s album “Mother’s Milk” and sit in awe of his wife after the birth of their baby. It’s that front row seat to femininity with her wings spread amass - as opposed to fearing it, or being separate from it – that changes men. And, it’s that uncommon empathy that would make men better lovers and more vocal advocates of protecting women from sexual assault. Really, dudes, your silence on this issue has been deafening. Women need you. You have a lot of power here, so please help us by joining and initiating this conversation!) Off soap box.

Traveling will no longer include flashing TSA your naughty bits.

Closing on a sweet note! Calling all East Coast expatriates! Dunkin’ Donuts plans to open 150 stores in Southern California. Herald the five pounds I recently lost from my hips… :/ Pssst… in case you were wondering… their blueberry muffins with actual bits of sugar on top are forever my vice.

Have a splendid weekend! xox

Leann Rimes Gets Honest About Her Affair in New Song, Borrowed

What do you think? Is Leann Rimes being brave by playing the role of “Super Mistress” and speaking up about the ins & outs of having an affair with a married man? Or, should she shut up already, cuz, she won the man? And… is ex-wife Brandi Glanville’s anger misdirected? Or, should Leann have shown some kind of sisterhood to a woman she never met?

By Darrah Le Montre

UPDATE 3/17/2013: The two defendants in the Steubenville, OH rape case have been found “delinquent” on all three charges. Delinquent is the equivalent of guilty in juvenile court. Read the full story here.

UPDATE: I’m honored to announce that my article has been chosen as Recommended Reading for High Schools across the nation!

On August 11/12th of last year, a 16-year old girl in Steubenville, Ohio, was allegedly repeatedly sexually assaulted by members of Steubenville High School’s almighty Big Red Football team. When the story subsequently broke worldwide, it divided a small town and forced us to question the future of our men.

A self-described member of a group that call themselves the “Rape Crew,” Nodianos, or “Nodi” as his teammates call him, starred in an incriminating, vile smart phone video that was posted to YouTube on the night of the alleged assault, then taken down, then reposted to the web by KnightSec and Commander X, who are both affiliated with the Anonymous hacktivist hive. This video features “Nodi” – who clearly borders on sociopathic – maniacally laughing and apparently providing a play-by-play of the repeated gang rape of the 16-year old female victim. During the course of his commentary, he frequently refers to her as the “dead body.”

Events like this force people out of their copacetic, pacified state of separateness, and push us to admit we are all connected. Transgressions like these beg questions about social responsibility, technology’s role in our lives, who is teaching what to our children, what it means to be a father and mother, and why we are even debating whether unconscious means consensual.

Read the rest at: SUICIDEGIRLS BLOG

This article was reprinted by GIRLIEGIRL ARMY.

During a visit with my dad last week, he turned me onto an incredible CNN journalist/host named Fareed Zakaria. Wow! What an amazing, well-rounded, class act thinker. Zakaria offers a balanced outlook (something we’re experiencing a deficit in with Fox News and Huffington Post as media’s more extreme sides of the pendulum) and he encourages fair debates. I highly recommend listening to his iTunes podcasts, watching his show, Global Public Square, and reading his column in Time. For more info, visit: http://fareedzakaria.com

Moving on… as a thank you and here’s somebody you should know… I showed my family a clip of eco-feminist and twenty-time author, India’s own, Vandana Shiva. You can’t go wrong with putting any thinking individual in front of Bill Moyers, and this interview about GMO’s, Monsanto’s monopoly and international food supply is no exception.

To love, abundance and unity,
Darrah x

[SHIVA]

V Is For Vitriol: Harper’s Bazaar Dishes on Veganism (And It Don’t Taste Good!)
Published on July 27, 2012 by Darrah Le Montre

Too bad a leading women’s magazine, Harper’s Bazaar, took an amazing opportunity to enlighten and educate many of their high-fashion, career savvy, and health conscious readers about the vegan diet, and flushed it down the proverbial toilet! In its August issue (pg. 168), writer Alex Kuczynski skips research and personal testimonies, and chooses instead to play to acrimony amid new mothers, shallow reasoning behind going vegan (skinny celebrities), and then suggests eating a cheeseburger is the answer.

Seasoned fashion writer, Kuczynski, who has written for major fashion mags like Vogue, Lucky and who started her career at The New York Times, uses her sharp pen to shred the good intentions of other women. She offers up stars like Alanis Morissette and Jessica Chastain as the poster ladies of the new dieter “seeking to lose blubber, not save the whales,” the article states. Morissette attributes her “20-pound weight drop to going vegan,” says Harper’s, and Jessica Chastain is quoted as saying, “I used to think about dieting, but I’m vegan now, so it’s not really a problem.”

Los Angeles nutritionist Cynthia Pasquella says, of her vegan clients: “Vanity and weight loss is the number-one thing that’s driving this.”

While losing weight is not an undesirable goal…

———–

READ the rest of the story at GirlieGirl Army.

Please share & leave your comments! Thanks!**

I was really happy to receive an email this morning from Lynn Paltrow, the Executive Director of National Advocates for Preganant Women, stating that an Anonymous donation in my name had been made, in celebration of my upcoming birthday. What a wonderful surprise! Thanks so much to whomever gave their time and money so generously, to a cause that I fully support, and that helps women in need – and thus everybody.
You truly brought a smile to my face!!

If anybody else would like to make a donation, visit: http://www.advocatesforpregnantwomen.org/ and *please* sign the petition on the front page if you have an extra moment.
Here are other spots I’d love for you to support, if you wish to give me something for my bday!

Love, your faithful Leo lioness,
Darrah xox

Please click on blog post title to leave a comment on any of the posts.

Guest blogger Paul Lanning, Ed.D. is an educator and helps non-profit organizations raise funds to achieve their philanthropic goals. This week, he lent his pen to one of Suicide Redhead’s favorite topics: feminism! We’re thrilled to have a man canter so smoothly from his comfort zone into an area that we hope more men will freely explore. Feminism is a philosophy and practice that needs men to grow, and perhaps one day, it will be with the help of men, that we reach the unity we so desire. Read his piece and offer your voice in the comments section (click on blog post titles to leave comments). A balanced debate is necessary, so feel free to offer whatever opinion you have. And, of course, share freely!

By Paul I. Lanning, Ed.D.

I never realized, until recently, that a man could be a feminist.  It still sounds odd to me. When I hear the term I think of Gloria Steinem, or even of the mythical Rosie the Riveter from World War II. I never think of guys who believe in equality as ‘feminists.’  And maybe that’s part of the problem.

Feminism shouldn’t just be about strong women asserting themselves and vocally fighting for their place. It really should be about anyone and everyone who believes in equality standing up for those who traditionally have been and continue to be oppressed. This is true of gender as much as it’s true of races or religions (or the right not to practice a religion at all).

I grew up relatively oblivious. As a young white male in a relatively diverse California suburb attending public schools, I really never noticed overt signs of racism. And while I’m sure I was exposed to sexism, I didn’t recognize it. After all, I was a white male. What would I know?

In recent months I feel like I’ve had an awakening of some kind. Thanks to the rhetoric of the GOP primary season, I was spurred to start exploring what exactly was going on around me. I had trouble believing what I was hearing and seeing during the debates, and some of the restrictive legislation that was being proposed (and passed!) in states around the country.  This surely wasn’t the Republican Party I was a part of decades ago, when I was a member of the College Republicans chapter on my college campus.  The more I listened, the more I read, the less I could comprehend.
I recall flashing back at one point to a time in college when I stood listening to two Chinese students who had escaped their homeland after the Tiananmen Square massacre. It was one of the most moving experiences of my life, realizing both what these students and their peers had been through simply for espousing freedom, and how lucky (and sheltered) I was as a white male American. I got that same feeling recently, as I heard about women being censured for speaking out in the Michigan legislature, and Arizona passing a law allowing doctors to lie to women patients in the interest of putting the fetus ahead of the mother.

I began following the discourse more closely, and interacting with some fascinating writers who weren’t afraid to have their voices heard.  I listened, and discovered that indeed I have been sheltered, and oblivious.

When conservative white males (and the lemmings among the female species who follow them) put their own religion ahead of basic human rights, I am appalled. When sexual misconduct is laughed at or downplayed, my stomach turns. When doctors are able to keep potentially life-threatening news from a pregnant woman in the name of religion, I am in disbelief.

I don’t think I’m in the minority. I don’t believe that the majority of white males in America believe women are second-class citizens, playthings kept around to keep men happy but not to have minds or wills of their own. I can’t imagine that’s the state of our society in the 21st Century, despite what I continue to read and hear.

Yesterday I read of a sexual assault in Washington DC that occurred not long ago. A bicyclist cruised up to a woman and stuck his hand up her skirt, violating her very being before riding away laughing. It would be easy to pass this off as an isolated incident of some pervert getting his kicks, except that this particular woman (Liz Gorman) wrote a blog about it, and hundreds responded with their own stories of similar experiences and worse.
Thank goodness this woman and others like her are speaking out instead of staying silent. Thank goodness they’re upsetting the status quo. Thank goodness they’re waking people like me up to what is going on around us every day.

It’s always been hard for me to fathom that just months after I was born, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, or that not long before that, not every citizen in this country could vote. It’s hard for me to believe that when both of my grandmothers were children, their own mothers weren’t legally able to vote. And I wonder what is becoming of our hard-fought freedoms today when our society seems deeply divided like no time I can remember, and a powerful segment seeks to limit or deny basic rights of others.

I fear for our future when I see adolescent and college-age guys being spoon-fed rapacious porn and jocular yet overtly sexist advertising that just feed into their levels of testosterone at that age. Couple this with how we continue to muffle women’s voices about sexual needs and desires, and we are raising another generation of coarse, close-minded men who rally around Daniel Tosh and don’t think twice about their sense of privilege or entitlement. Basically: bad lovers, bad fathers, absentee husbands. I grew up knowing the experience of having an adulterous, alcoholic father, and far too often I was an absentee husband in my own failed marriage, far more focused on career than relationship. That cycle needs to stop.

The stereotypical male is a sexist pig. He sees women as merchandise to be gazed at, and groped at. He sees himself as the master of his domain, and sex as HIS enjoyment, or even as his conquest. He may know of boundaries, but often feels they don’t apply to him. He laughs at sexist jokes, he gawks at pretty ladies like a slobbering schoolboy, and he is enabled and empowered by an advertising industry that gears its print and television ads at him – because, after all, the stereotypical male is the head of household, the breadwinner, and the decision maker.

I know this firsthand. I ran numerous websites and published a sexy cheerleaders calendar years ago that pandered to this demographic, and did it well. I gave no consideration to the fact that I was feeding the sexism machine, subjugating and objectifying women in the interest of making a buck. After all, the models I worked with were professionals who were thrilled to be on the sites or in the calendars, and my target demographic was those stereotypical white males who buy the merchandise.

Paul and the Gals

It’s time for feminism to be mainstream. It’s time for open-minded, forward-thinking men to realize that equality means embracing feminism. Feminism isn’t a bad word. It’s simply a cry for fairness in an unfair world dominated for far too long by a small segment of white males who have convinced too many of us that speaking out is wrong, that having a voice is a privilege rather than a right, and that somehow they know what’s best for all of us.
I shouldn’t be ashamed to be a white male. I shouldn’t feel like I need to explain myself and my views to women who automatically see me as a threat, or even as the enemy, simply because I am a white male. But I am, and I often do.

It’s far past time that men start listening, instead of always expecting to dominate the conversation. Only then will we be able to start ridding ourselves of the shameful stereotypes that we’ve been saddled with thanks to the brutish ways of many of our species. I’m a white male, and now I know I’m also feminist. And thank goodness for that. THAT I don’t need to apologize for.

Paul Lanning is co-founder and managing partner of RPR Fundraising, LLC, a Los Angeles-based consulting firm which specializes in advising education institutions and other non-profit organizations on fundraising, strategic planning, social media, marketing, and executive search. He also teaches graduate courses and advises doctoral students in education administration and leadership at University of the Pacific (Stockton, CA). He blogs about sports and philanthropy. Follow him on Twitter.

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Please click on blog post title to leave a comment on any of the posts.

As Suicide Redhead’s first exclusive interview, we’re so pleased to share the voices of two incredible fathers. Bryan Leffew and Jay Foxworthy are the stars of Cannes Film Festival Best Documentary winner Cassie Jaye’s film, Right To Love: An American Family. These San Franciscans, whose YouTube videos about the normalcy of a gay family, have gone viral (with over 3M views), were generous enough to share their thoughts on same-sex marriage, adoption and the challenges that currently face the LGBTQ community.

The Leffew-Foxworthy Clan at a Screening of Right To Love

Darrah de jour: Congratulations on adopting your two beautiful children, Selena and Daniel. Is it harder for a gay individual or family to adopt a child? Are there additional hoops they need to jump through?

Leffew-Foxworthy: The Challenge for LGBT people and adoption is mainly in the patchwork of laws that differ from one state to the next and the lack of information out there for LGBT people about how to begin the process of adoption. For instance, a few states outright ban adoptions by LGBT people. And many other states may only allow a single individual to adopt, which means that the other partner/spouse has no legal protections or the ability to make decisions for children they consider their own. In more progressive states, like our home state of California, the laws are the same for straight and gay parents when it comes to adoption. The most important thing is to find an adoption agency that is LGBT friendly and will advocate for you throughout the adoption process.

We found True To Life Childrens Services here in Sonoma County and recommended them as a gay friendly agency. We pushed aside the caution we had from our previously failed attempts and gave them a call. They were fantastic. They didn’t scare us off, they treated us like gold, and they walked with us through the entire process. Once we were registered for Fost/adopt we began the process of leafing through the books that literally contain the thousands of profiles of children available for adoption in California. Our agency was then contacted by Daniel and Selena’s social worker who thought we would be a good match for them. At the time, I was staggered by the number of kids that I had seen in those books and Daniel’s profile scared me a bit because they made his medical needs sound so much worse than they were. But we agreed to meet them for the first time and it was love at first sight for all of us. Daniel was barely five then and Selena was just over one year old.

Ddj: It was beyond frustrating to see anti-gay activist Maggie Gallagher (by the way, I’m convinced she or her husband or both are gay) making false claims about religious servants being forced to perform same-sex marriages, public schools having to teach about gay marriage, and other false rhetoric. How does she get away with it?

L-F: I think they get away with it because not enough people realize that the untruths they spin are false and deliberately crafted to harm the LGBT community. They play on peoples fear and ignorence of LGBT people. It’s easy to condemn when it’s not you on the wrong end of the blame. I was raised Christian and I heard ever fundamentalist talking point about gays since I was old enough to walk. For years I believed it and repeated it…until it was me. I wish every fundamentalist could have that kind of epiphany. Then they might come to see all those well worn Bible passages in a different light. Would they be so willing to bury their feelings if it was their sexuality that was condemned? I doubt it. They can argue Bible points until the end of time and in the end I KNOW that the love that I have for my husband is just as real. I was always taught that GOD is love….so how is the love I know not a part of that?

Ddj: It was appalling and scary to see gay bashing at a sporting game captured on film. It was a powerful moment to witness. Along with CNN’s list of names of elementary and junior high school children that took their own lives as a result of badgering based on size, appearance and perceived homosexuality, it cemented in my mind the seriousness of the bullying epidemic. How much of this is a direct result of gay people not being able to get married? Are gays seen by the United States as second class citizens?

L-F: I don’t see bulling as being the result of not allowing LGBT people to marry. It is more that both of these things share a common denominator and that is the belief that gay people are “less than”. I grew up being told that a man can never love a man like a man and woman could love each other…therefore if our love wasn’t valid, niether were our relationships. If people can’t see that love is the same regardless of gender then it makes it very easy for them to fall prey to the idea that we don’t really need marriage to protect our families. It makes it easy for people to cast aspersions on why we even want it in the first place. As a young gay kid, I was taught all that by the adults in my life and overcome that thinking in coming to terms with who I was as a gay person. Because I had to challenge that, I KNOW that those ideas are false but there is a large part of the population that never has to confront those false beliefs and so it continues to be easy for people to see out relationships as “less than” when they are not. The same concept that a gay person is somehow flawed or perceived as weak or odd for being gay is what contributes to the epidemic of bullying as well. Where it not for the messages that kids get that there is something horribly wrong with being gay they might have less shame over realizing that there is something different about them and a bully will pick on anything that makes us feel insecure about ourselves. It is just sad that many in society still stand behind the bully when the one being harassed is gay.

One of the reasons that the Yes On 8 ads worked in California was because they tapped into that latent belief that being gay must be flawed or wrong. They succeeded at scaring people into thinking that gay people had an agenda to “redefine marriage” and recruit kids in school. Without letting the public see the truth. How did we hope to combat a message like that? In the end, the fear tactics worked and Prop 8 passed. In our anger, sadness, and frustration we decided to just make one video and get it all off our chests and show the world the not-so-scary truth of same-sex families over chicken nuggets and peas. In putting our family out there, we had hoped to encourage other same-sex families to do so also. To date, only a handful have, but we believe that the more we can show who we are, the less scary we are to people. And the lies that anti-equality forces spin to demonize us just won’t take hold as easily anymore. We are not broken, flawed or less then. Nor are we the scary monsters people are led to believe we are. But until people can see that in our daily lives the same old lies can keep being told about us.

Ddj: For people that are attracted to both sexes, being in a homosexual relationship is a choice (though it can be argued that attraction to a person is never a choice, despite their gender), and for gay people, it is seen by the majority as genetic. How can we differentiate a “lifestyle choice” from a genetic disposition? Why do you think this differentiation is so important to society?

L-F: I don’t think falling in love is a choice…Gay…Straight…or Bisexual. You are born with your sexuality. Who you fall in love with isn’t a choice. Though society at large sees all sexuality as a choice of behavior…even their own. What they often don’t realize is that, while they may have chosen how to express their given sexuality…they did not chose who they were attracted to. The element of choice only comes in determining the content of our character…who do we want to be?…how do we want to live? Not in who we love or find ourselves attracted to.

I think that distinction is an important one because then perhaps, the greater public would see more of themselves in an LGBT person. Perhaps then they would understand that we as LGBT people are looking to celebrate our loves and protect our families in the same manner that they do. That it’s not and never was about redefinitions, recruitments, or destroying sacred societal institutions. Perhaps if the average straight person had to analyse why they felt straight and do a little soul searching on the issue…they might understand what it means to feel as if they were “born that way” too.

“In our anger, sadness, and frustration we decided to just make one video and get it all off our chests and show the world the not-so-scary truth of same-sex families over chicken nuggets and peas.” Leffew and Foxworthy

Ddj: What changes legally when gay people get married as opposed to having civil unions or domestic partnerships?

L-F: From a legal standpoint Civil Unions and Domestic Partnerships are granted at a state level or…as was the case in San Francisco several years ago…by a city. The limited rights and privileges would only be legal within that state or city. Whereas civil marriage (when not banned…thanks a lot DOMA) is generally honored at the state and federal level with marriages performed in one state being recognized in all others. Civil marriages are an almost universal legal entity that is recognized when one spouse gets sick and needs hospitalization or can not care for themselves. Marriage also allows protects a person whose spouse passes away in ways that a civil union is not quite as strong in — especially at the federal level. The fact that Civil Marriage is such an old and well recognized legal status means that it protects those that marry in ways that are usually iron clad and understood in courts, tax offices, social security offices…or even just at the bank. If you can tell them that you are married, they know just how to help you. Otherwise, explaining that you and your partner are in a “civil union” usually meets with a blank look as a clerk with no idea how to handle those has to go ask their boss what to do and then goes looking for special paperwork. Civil Unions and Domestic Partnerships are very durable and can offer a lot of protections. But none of those protections cross to the federal level, or even beyond state lines. Bryan and I could be married in California, and absolute strangers to each other in Nevada, just a few hours away. Just to name a few major differences that go beyond the 1138 rights that would be granted federally that heterosexual couples currently enjoy.

Ddj: I was stuck by how honest Bryan’s nuclear family was about the challenges and experiences of having a gay son, brother and grandchild, and having that son be very politically active. Have there been any riffs since you discovered your brother voted for Prop 8, the proposition that makes gay marriage illegal?

L-F: Actually, only a little bit. There was some surprise when we learned that his brother had voted for Prop 8. After all, he had been a best man in our wedding just a week before that vote. So there was some surprise there. We have both been around Bryan’s family enough to know their politics. Bryan makes the claim that he was more surprised by his Grandma’s admission that she would have gone out to protest Prop 8 but didn’t because she wasn’t asked to. He felt genuinely surprised by that because, at the time, he hadn’t even known she was open to that. He feels like that was a missed opportunity because he had just assumed she would never have gone out with him to protest.

Ddj: Your YouTube channel depfox has viral videos viewed by millions of people. What do you think makes your family stand out?

L-F: We hope we stand out because we are real. We are not trying to show some “Leave It to Beaver” version of family that’s too perfect to be real. No family is perfect and gay families are no different. We wanted to show our good points and our weaknesses equally so that people understand that gay families are just like any others. We chose the name “Gay Family Values” to take back the term “Family Values” from those who would use it as if LGBT people don’t have those. “Family Values” to us does not mean moral superiority….just that you love your family and want to do the best by them that you can — even if you make mistakes. That’s something that is a hallmark of all loving families, gay or straight.

“Now it’s time to learn about the oppression of everyone and everything else. If you understand how the people you identify with are controlled, move out of your sphere and apprehend how everyone else is controlled.
Otherwise, we are all small groups of people looking only to our own self-interests, and meanwhile, do not understand the true nature of our adversary. In war, this is not a powerful position.” ~Inga Muscio

I’m truly honored and excited to share with you, my precious readers, this latest interview with author Inga Muscio. I feel particularly proud of this interview – above and beyond any one I’ve done (even Penelope Cruz and Woody Harrelson, as glittery and fun as they were).  Muscio has been a personal inspiration of mine since age 21, and the opportunity to chat with her about incendiary and time-sensitive issues (especially with elections around the bend) was fulfilling in and of itself.  Then, you get these long-arse, engaging, thought-provoking, fearless, unapologetically feminist, world-wise, world-weary, expertly studied and executed answers and you’re like, DAYUM!!!

Inga sent along a beautiful email with her answers, expressing that this is one of her favorite interviews to date. Here’s a snippet:

“hola darrah!

i finally finished answering your compelling questions! whew! you came up with some really really good questions and i wanted to be able to focus 100% on them. thanks for the opportunity to give voice to many of my thoughts…

warmly,
inga”

READ OUR INTERVIEW and please – it would mean the world to me – pass it along to friends and family, to people who might need it as salve, and “like” and “share” away!

And, if you feel so inclined, leave your comment below the story.

Love & peace,
Darrah  xxxxxx

Inga’s Books!

Another version of this interview appeared in Red, White and Femme for SuicideGirls and vegan blog GirlieGirl Army.