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Taylor Swift Gives Dating Advice LIVE (VIDEO)

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Last night, my man and I shamelessly ventured downtown to the Staples Center to rock out with a bunch of parents and their six to sixteen-year-old children during the Los Angeles debut of Taylor Swift’s 1989 World Tour.  OK, OK, you’re right, there were plenty of twenty-somethings there too. Most fans wore glowing Christmas lights tied around their waists, while groups of girls were bedecked with lit signs that, when pieced together, spelled out the name of either their song request, their nickname for Taylor (Baelor was one; a combo of bae and Taylor) or simply an 8×10 of Calvin Harris, Swift’s current beau.

Kicking off the first of five sold-out shows at the Staples Center this week, the leggy blonde with perfect features and pouty, signature red lips opened the two-hour long show with a bang, singing “Welcome To New York,” her anthem to the city that never sleeps and her new home with whom she was endlessly inspired to write her first full-length pop album, 1989. One of the two guest appearances of the evening included Ryan Tedder, of OneRepublic, a co-producer and co-writer on the album. They sang his hit “Counting Stars,” her only duet of the evening. The five-time platinum album, 1989, consists of drum programming, synthesizers, pulsating bass, processed backing vocals, and guitars — an important departure from her country roots.

The 25-year old powerhouse, who has graced magazine’s top whatever lists, also brought Apple to its knees earlier this year by gracefully yet succinctly insisting that they pay their artists for Apple Music’s free three-month trial period. The streaming service agreed within 18 hours of her Tumblr post.

Now a pop diva filling 15,000 seat stadiums, her show included twelve costume changes, bracelets and lights sold to audience members that were all synchronized and flashed color and white at the same time, a beast of a T-bone stage that both levitated, lit up and traveled all directions while she and her mob of shirtless male back up dancers were tied to it by poles. She lip-syncs some of the time, which is forgivable because she’s moving, dancing, and posturing so much. There are a lot of pre-recorded backing vocals that she adds verses to, and while her vocals are sometimes stunning, they are often quite mediocre. Again, forgivable, due to the fact that she is such an incredible performer, songwriter, producer and all-around interesting self-sustained human. Plus, she is delightful to gaze at, and she struts the stage like a catwalk.

Swift intercepts the flow of songs with pre-recorded videos of her girl squad (think opening act Haim, V.S. model Lily Aldridge, B.F.F. Karlie Kloss, Paper Towns actress Cara Delevingne, and Girls star Lena Dunham) with P.S.A.-type, highly edited footage of them discussing everything from Baelor’s cats, their affinity for eating (which feels contrived, given how thin all of these women are), and how women should have each other’s backs — which I secretly wished would be followed by the Katy Perry dis track “Bad Blood.” An impossibly young looking Selena Gomez hammered home how hard dating is when you’re Taylor Swift and famous and stuff.

Before the show, Swift’s mom surfed the crowd seeking out die-hard Swifties to take back to “Loft 89″ after the show for a meet and greet with her daughter. True to her brand, Taylor using her family to lasso fans — or friends, as she calls us — brings warmth to your heart, and bruises to your feet as those aforementioned girls with lights tied around their bodies like butterflies caught in net, trample your feet for a photo with Andrea Swift.

In what is part of an ongoing parade of various guest appearances by girls from her squad and some randoms like Julia Roberts and Joan Baez, on Friday night, during “Style,” her ode to a short-lived relationship with Harry Styles of One Direction, Swift was accompanied onstage by Lakers star Kobe Bryant. He surprised her by revealing a banner commemorating her sixteen full-capacity performances at Staples Center, which is more than any other performer has done in the history of Staples Center. The banner will forever hang alongside the Lakers’.

An all-around enjoyable evening and electric spectacle filled with fun, movement, joy, screaming super fans, and general wholesomeness, Swift paused the pop magic to thank her “friends” profusely for making her so popular, and to give a bit of dating advice. SEE VIDEO BELOW.

Vance Joy and Haim opened.

Taylor Swift will be performing at the Staples Center through Wednesday, August 26th. 



For super fans, here is Taylor’s set list from the show:

  • Welcome to New York
  • New Romantics
  • Blank Space
  • I Knew You Were Trouble
  • I Wish You Would
  • How You Get the Girl
  • I Know Places
  • All You Had to Do Was Stay
  • You Are in Love
  • Clean
  • Love Story
  • Style
  • This Love
  • Bad Blood
  • We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
  • Enchanted/Wildest Dreams
  • Out of the Woods
  • Shake It Off
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Backstage With Jake Gyllenhaal and the rest of my crazy summer!

It’s been ages since I blogged, but I assure you that I have a good excuse! This summer has been magical — and crazy! We travelled like mad! Overcoming a fear of traveling to a foreign country, I just returned from Tokyo, where I saw Tim Burton‘s NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS LIVE and enjoyed temple crawls and authentic sushi meals! The plane ride was totally bearable, especially since my honey and I got bumped from business to first class for free on the way home!

We also spent the Fourth of July in NYC and Rhode Island at an AMAZING hotel called Ocean House. It’s two doors down from Taylor Swift’s insane mansion (yes, Tay, that was me with the binoculars). We enjoyed a top-notch, classy discovery called Cracker Barrel (and had to dine there — can it even be called “dining”?? three times in one week). We had a brilliant photo shoot in San Antonio at America’s oldest kiddie park and kicking it all off was a fabulous trip to Maui and Kauai! (My babysitter spied John Mayer in the fitness room of our hotel.)

The fangirl in me just about died hanging out with Will Chase… of “Nashville” fame to Angelenos, and broadway fame to New Yorkers. His girlfriend, Ingrid Michaelson was even more adorkable in person.

At the after party for the MINIONS premiere, I met fucking Jon Hamm.

Most of all, I am feeling grateful for the whirlwind of summer, the love of my family, and the soulful experience of being a mother. What are you feeling grateful for? Have you had a good summer?

Much love!!

Darrah xoxox

Steven Boyer, star of Broadway's Tony-winning musical HAND TO GOD

Steven Boyer, star of Broadway’s Tony-winning musical HAND TO GOD




Adorable Cosplayer personifying Jack Skellington

Adorable Cosplayer personifying Jack Skellington in Tokyo, Japan


With Danny Elfman and Sandy Cameron

With Danny Elfman and Sandy Cameron


We look like sisters! :) Vanessa Bayer from SNL

We look like sisters! :) Vanessa Bayer from SNL



Jon Hamm (and rye) MINIONS PREMIERE

Jon Hamm (and rye) MINIONS PREMIERE



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Short Hair, Don’t Care

So many changes! Spring is here ~ and as we continue decorating and putting our stamp on the new house, my lil family and I are making strides to keep our lives enthusiastic, gracious and loving. Last night, my partner and I had a very enriching conversation about what changes need to be made. I specifically had major concerns. When you commit to being in a relationship – especially a long-term one, and one that involves a child, the possibility of getting complacent, falling into certain patterns (read: ruts!) and going through the motions on auto-pilot are very possible. All of which I really don’t like. I have a tendency to put up with a certain amount of B.S. for longer than most people, and suddenly realize – after some warnings to my partner, mind you – that I can no longer take it! So, basically that’s where I was at yesterday. We had a major talk, and I think he had some major epiphanies.

He went to the doctor yesterday because I noticed that his hearing has been declining, especially since he got over a cold some months ago. The doctor noticed water behind his ear drum. The doctor also mentioned that usually people have hearing problems and don’t even know it. Until they get into a relationship, that is. The other person brings it to their attention.

I suppose that’s what all of our faults, patterns, flaws, lies, immaturities and so on are. Invisible or tolerable to us, until we get into a partnership and have this giant (hopefully gentle) mirror placed in our path.

I am grateful he received my concerns and today I feel hopeful, sexy and a bit lighter now. It’s a process though, and while he is enthusiastic today, I told him that I need him to stay current with me and I will try to be as honest as I can, because when the newness of a person, or a project, or a goal fades, we still need to recognize it as a process that deserves our time and energy to be maintained and to thrive.

OK, so why the blog title, “Short Hair, Don’t Care”? You’ll see… ;) Below is my new do.

Ladies, looking for a new style and feeling indecisive? Try

Happy Spring, my friends! XOXO


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Women and HIV/AIDS: Reality & Hope

New contributor Jennifer Sawyer shares information with us about the current state of HIV/AIDS as it affects women in America. 


Tuesday, March 10, 2015 is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. Founded in 2006, National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day was created with the intent to bring awareness to women and girls fighting HIV/AIDS all over the world. In partnering with volunteers, the foundation strives to educate the public on two aspects: Prevention methods and the plight of those suffering from the disease.

What You Need to Know

The spread of HIV/AIDS is still prevalent in today’s society, and many women aren’t getting the care they need. As noted by the Center for Disease Control, even though one in four of those suffering from HIV are women, many of those diagnosed will go on suffering without proper treatment.

“Although most (88%) of women living with HIV in 2011 were aware of their infection, less than half of them (45%) were engaged in medical care,” the CDC reported.


Reasons for the lack of treatment can vary. In some of the less developed parts of the world, the complex medications and skilled care required to fight the disease simply aren’t available. Sometimes, even when medicine and care are available, many patients cannot afford the hefty price tag that comes with them.

Perhaps just as heartbreaking, some women actually make the conscious decision to obtain from treatment, even when help is available and affordable. According to, “Even when they know their status, about 1 in 4 women postpone medical care because of barriers such as family, depression, or threat of partner violence.”

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day helps give these women a voice, especially the ones who can’t speak for themselves.


How You Can Protect Yourself

Avoid becoming another statistic, and diligently practice preventative methods. No matter your age, race, gender, or sexual orientation, if you’re sexually active, you can contract HIV/AIDS and other STIs. When engaging in any kind of sexually activity, it’s critical that you use protection.

As explained in the Safer Sex
Guide from
, practicing abstinence is the only way to be 100 percent safe. However, using latex condoms significantly decreases the likelihood of the disease transmitting between partners, making it a relatively “low-risk” activity. They advise that condoms should be used during oral, vaginal, and anal intercourse. Always use the appropriate protection during each activity (male or female prophylactics) and use a fresh prophylactic during each intimate act with every partner.

The only way to know for sure that you do or do not have HIV/AIDS is to get tested. If you’re sexually active, see your doctor, and get tested regularly. Visit today for more information, and see what you can do to spread awareness and support the cause!

Editor’s Note: One of’s favorite sex education and conversation sites is Scarleteen: Sex Education for the Real World

Jennifer Sawyer is a full-time student studying Public Health, and residing in Boston. She fills every free moment she has consuming coffee, writing to-do lists, and promoting sexual health in all ages, genders, and sexual orientations. Follow her on Twitter.

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faith isn’t easy


some lost body parts and some lost their breath

some broke their hearts and dropped their bags, and looted stores

and nothing would be the same again.

kids got shot and men got shot down.

and nothing would be the same again.

we got lost and found again and by the time i hit 15 i was a believer with a growling belly.

by the time he shotgunned smoke into my mouth, i questioned god time and again until Interview With A Vampire seemed

like a good idea. I fell asleep on his shoulder while he urged me awake to see

the end of the Crying Game.


Who knew years ago, years later standing here with binary and polarity as more of strangers than they were then or even a few

years ago.

Who knew I’d pray to believe in the crucifixion because i need to believe again.

And the sour jokes about religion and the way he looks at me when I pray. Like he loves me more than ever.

But still he says he believes in nothing but seems more faithful than anybody

I’ve begun to pray sitting in my bed and in the midst of the down feathers and the stuffed animals and my dog;

i feel uneasy. Faith is supposed to be hard, isn’t it?

With rough edges and broomsticks on the knees. Splintered hands. Dry mouths from fasting.

Faith is supposed to hurt. Like self-flagellating priests and sinning and repenting.

Faith has spikes and whips and kicks you when you don’t need it enough.

Like marriage or a job or working out. All of which I’ve loved before. We look at married people and think: it must be easy

because they committed to it. No, we don’t. We know it’s hard. It seems to go against human nature to

marry one person and screw one person forever. But, we do it with the best of intentions. And I will soon.


And we look at religious people like it’s easier for them. Because they made the choice. They committed to it. So they

have the answers – more answers than we. But, they are as meandering as we. Just toppled over with guilt, right?

Or is there not one kind of refugee from the brink of faithlessness?

Is it not faith that licks us clean, and pours water down our throat and lifts us up and reminds us of our divinity?

The salve that hides between the cars and canteens and leaves that cotton candy taste when all we want is to be bad again

because being bad kind of does that same thing. Only those night sweats kick you in the balls reminding you that faith isn’t easy.

I suppose it’s hard-won like all good things. And being born full of faith makes you punish yourself more when you want

to surrender to the darkness and believe you can do anything you want because you want it. Perhaps the restraint could be a kink

and the straightest edge could be like a Swiss knife cutting your back, slicing the skin in finite patterns until you begin to hide the scars.

You smile whenever you lean back and feel the grief of repercussion.

faith isn’t easy, because god’s smarter than that, i’n’t he?

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What I Want In A Man

I found this blog entry draft that I never published. I really love going back and reading things I felt/experienced from a few years ago and reflecting on where I was in my life then, and where I am now. This list is actually incredibly helpful and I believe it guided me to my current partner. Care to read the inner tickings of my then-dating heart? <3

“As yet another fleeting relationship with a man comes to an end, I gather my pride (not too much was lost, thank goodness), my reasons for leaving, my memories of really delicious vegan food outings, and smile that I have an even sharper, more honed sense of what I want in a partnership — essentially, a friendship-based relationship with my soulmate.

My editor and great friend asked me to write a list of non-negotiables straight from my dating heart; in an effort to narrow the road to my divine love.  I have no idea what I’m going to write, but I will try not to edit too much.  Here goes!

*Has integrity, discipline and self-love, with love to spare* without these there is nothing.

1) No smokers

2) No narcissists

3) Must love kids, dogs, and be mostly vegetarian

4) Must love the ocean

5) Must be a kind human being.  Nuff said!

6) Must be marriage-minded

7) Must absolutely – with all of their being – love and adore me.  Support my endeavors, understand my plight, be around enough to really know me, and give me enough space to grow and soar.

8) Not be jealous.

9) Not necessarily have a drug addled past, as most of my exes do.

10) Have a strong love for their mother

11) Be very sexually attracted to me and have a high sex drive.

12) Be into monogamy, with me able to explore with women at times with or without him present.

13) Love himself, respect himself, be health-focused, progressive politically, non-judgmental, a feminist, humanist and animal lover.

14) Must have some kind of spiritual path.

15) See a future for us that he is willing to invest time, energy, money, imagination, his spirit and his body in.

16) Be present for us.

17) Not be out of town more than in town.

18) Be an affectionate person.  A sensual person.  Not a grouch!

19) Love life and the people in it.

20) Have a connection to nature, travel, instinct, be intuitive, able to listen and receive lessons from me a well as teach me.  Have a professorial nature without condescension, and above all, value closeness, and be able to see the details as well as the big picture.

21) Be financially thriving with the ability to rebuild as needed; ambitious and able-minded.

22) Like strong women, pedestalize without knocking down.

23) Wants one fantasy girl, not a hundred.

24) No sex addicts, drug addicts, alcoholics or other active abusers, or addicts that run shitty recovery programs.  Sorry.  Been there and done that.  Many many times.

25) Somebody that lives in the present.  Is not depressed all the time, is not overly religious, has a sense of the power and urgency of now without a ton of anxiety, and can sit and breathe inside his flesh and blood without distraction, hatred or self loathing, or a need to criticize others to bolster his ego; is unusually evolved sexually, spiritually, and emotionally, and mentally – somebody brilliant and well-read, who values education and the school of hard knocks, who is not riding the high horse to heaven or hell, has developed ideas of how he feels politically, and romantically, and about women – is not a female novice; does not hold grudges, loves kids, loves the beach, hiking and camping (to get me outdoors more), can respect that I need a lot of time alone, take extra time to make decisions sometimes, has the patience to love me unconditionally, and realizes — upon first meeting me, that his life cannot go on in any capacity with the sparkle and light and thunder that he so desires it to, if he doesn’t snatch me up and take me off the market.  Because he now sees everything he was missing, in one single glance.”

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Darrah Goes Hardcore

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Hey guys, I had so much fun filming a few scenes for bestselling zen author Brad Warner’s part-real, part-fiction documentary HARDCORE ZEN. Below is a sneak peek of my role as Debra. If you’re one of the lucky 100 who get the DVD with extras, you’ll get to see me in a super raunchy and funny sex scene.

[Zen and Fame: A sneak peek of Darrah’s role as a zen groupie in Brad Warner Documentary – VIDEO]

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

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Freaks & Geeks: Darrah Interviewed on Dark Mark Radio Show!


As part of a very informal press “tour” for the spoof zombie movie, ZOMBIE BOUNTY HUNTER, M.D., I appeared on Goth Comedian Dark Mark’s radio show/podcast at Skidrow Studios about a week ago. Smart and funny Dark Mark and his devilish co-host Josi Kat (Singer for punk band PISS ANT, founder of THE FEARLEADERS, the cheerleading squad to the LA Derby Dolls Roller Derby Team) interviewed me and my blonde, bespectacled co-star Hannah Elizabeth Pierce with director Pirooz Kalayeh. We dished about naughty behind-the-scenes tidbits, dating older men, and later, sideshow performer Whodini sixteenninetytwo showed off his dangerous side.

Watch the full video of our interview below! Listen to the podcast, here.


A little about Goth Comedian Dark Mark: He has hosted at The CONVERGENCE 18 GOTH FESTIVAL, The SAN LUIS OBISBO GOTH FESTIVAL, The DEAD FLESH FEAST HORROR FESTIVAL, The SUNSET STRIP MUSIC FESTIVAL (also featuring Marilyn Manson, Offspring, Bad Religion and De La Soul) as well as Kinky shows at S & M Dungeons and has been featured on Andy Dick Live! Mark has been a 9-time LA Times Comedy pick of the week as well as being a Las Vegas Citylife pick of the week. Mark White has performed with the biggest names in comedy including performers such as Steven Wright, Jerry Seinfeld, Margaret Cho, Dane Cook, Andrew “Dice” Clay, Damon Wayans, Otto and George, Eddie Griffin, Jeff Ross, Maria Bambford, and George Lopez among others.

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Activists Stand On Shaky Ground

Activists fight daily against oppression in myriad ways. Whether you are defending the rights of animals; taking sides in the “War on Terror” or trying your damnedest to legalize marijuana, you risk burnout. pattrice jones’s new book Aftershock aims to help pro-active peaceful warriors with activist overwhelm.  It includes practical tips for individuals, organizations, and communities, as well as info about how traumatic events affect our bodies (read: PTSD).

Don’t let your passions break you. As an animal lover and vegetarian since a teenager, I’ve passionately mounted ideas and movements, like environmentalism, recycling, HIV/AIDS fundraising, etc. only to become burdened by the sadness that surrounds these heavy issues. I look forward to delving into Aftershock. If you pick it up, leave me a note and let me know if it helped!

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