Desanctifying The Teacher/student Relationship
May 15th, 2012 | srBlog archives
by Sharon Cummings
For decades, Wall Street has prioritized profit over the public’s best interest. Power plays, greed and manipulation have historically been rewarded at “too big to fail” financial institutions. In the political arena, our former governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger is only the most recent in a long line of politicians and candidates who interact inappropriately with an employee or supporter, and our lobbying system has systematized legal bribery.
With all the morally bankrupt behavior in our external environment, it’s no wonder we seek sanctuary in like-minded communities, often in commitment to a spiritual practice. Sadly, even our beloved spiritual leaders are not immune to abusing authority. Many (if not all) spiritual groups have witnessed some perversion of power by one spiritual teacher or another.
Some years back, Buddhist author and meditation teacher Jack Kornfield surveyed 54 spiritual teachers and students and found that, “Significantly, 34 of the 39 teachers who are not celibate have had at least one sexual relationship with one or more students.”
Kornfield continued, “Certainly some of those relationships are conscious, loving and freely chosen . . . Nevertheless, some have involved the exploitation of the student-teacher relationship and have, in a number of cases, contradicted the teachings of the tradition.” What Kornfield found was not new, nor has it changed much since.
We expect our spiritual leaders to nurture a sacred space with crystal clear moral clarity surrounding a student’s spiritual development. Students supply the basic foundation of faith and trust by supporting the spiritual practices espoused by the teacher. Both student and teacher commit to each other’s awakening in this exchange.
Additional guidelines or precepts may be agreed upon to protect the sanctity of the spiritual environment. For example, both student and teacher are accountable for upholding the practice of prajna, or “discerning awareness.”
Ideally, we experience a harmonious flow of love and wisdom between student and teacher. If power is misused, the student may confuse compassion and coercion, faith and manipulation, or even sacred and sexual, as internal spiritual centers are shifted out of alignment. A healthy spiritual practice is no longer possible in this dysfunctional environment.
With honest awareness that teachers are subject to the same human temptations as everyone else, James Baraz, co-founding teacher of Spirit Rock Meditation Center, and Jack Kornfield, along with other senior teachers, were prompted to create the Teachers Code of Ethics establishing clear boundaries for student/teacher safety.
Baraz reminds us, “An authentic spiritual teacher recognizes spiritual maturity, ultimately empowering the student to trust their own heart as the highest spiritual authority.” He suggests a simple gut check for a student to see if s/he feels spiritually protected and energetically safe around a teacher: If the body feels uncomfortable or contracted around a teacher or a practice, the trigger must be addressed. Spiritual practice invites an intimate connection with our hearts; intuition, or how something makes you “feel,” may be the best guidance in steering our own moral compass, he advises.
Last month, Greg Smith recounted a disconcerting experience in a “toxic” and “destructive” community to The New York Times, saying, “I can no longer in good conscience say that I identify with what it stands for.” The “it” in question was the corporate culture of Goldman Sachs, where Smith had been an executive director. “Leadership used to be about ideas, setting an example and doing the right thing,” he wrote, clearly disenchanted.
Smith risked isolation in the financial industry for his overt transparency, but perhaps his public disclosure of corrupt practices is monumental in initiating his own healing, and that of the greater corporate culture.
Similarly, when members of a beloved yoga community earlier this year wrote publicly in protest of perceived abuses, it may have sparked greater communication and transparency in other like-minded communities. One interesting difference between this situation and that of Greg Smith is that the exposed leader is likely to experience greater suffering than the whistle-blowers. Perhaps this is more just, or at least poetic justice.
Our challenge in any community in which we feel our trust has been broken is to transform the trauma we feel into a gift that supports our greater spiritual awakening. The pain may be motivation to revisit our intention—perhaps finding we received the exact lesson we needed to evolve. Or the experience may shift our direction toward a new community. We can release our suffering by sharing our stories with others similarly committed to starting a new chapter based on truth and transparency.
Originally published in Whole Life Times
Oh, well. I’m sure Oscar would love a playmate!
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